Do Butlers Burgle Banks - P.G. Wodehouse

This has to be one of the catchiest Wodehouse titles around. A question which not a lot of Indians would relate to for sure since the domestic help here sure has made a veritable business model out of taking off with their master’s belongings and riches. British butlers, apparently, are not quite like that. Their nobility is so unquestioned, that when one of them does go down the crime lane and busting banks, it is an event big enough to publish a book on.

And hell, I am not complaining that they have a book on it. Especially since it is authored by Plum.

The book is about a syndicate of thieves, headed by the wily, though not so fit, Horace Appleby who decides to take a detour from his usual modus operandi of stealing jewels and decides to plunge into a new line of business of burgling banks. And once Appleby gets his cronies on the line for the plan of action, he sets off to the Bond residence to establish a base to study and formulate and execute his plans and takes over as a temporary butler. Of course that’s where the plot just starts.

Michael Bond, the inheritor of the Bond Bank, who ends up employing Appleby as his butler, is not quite in the pink of health. With his love life flagging away into nothingness, he has business worries that any owner of a bank would. And maybe his worries go a shade deeper than the usual amount.

Appleby realizes that this one operation is not going to be as smooth as his previous achievements. He has his arch rival, the Chicago Gunman, hounding him to clear past dues. And then he has a love life of his own that he has to sort out.

In this little gem of a book, both the victim and the villain are actually the heroes of the story. And between the aims of Appleby to burgle the bank and Michael Bond to run it smoothly are thrown in several characters who make the plot as mixed up as a heap of spaghetti. There are trustees trying to sort out the bank owner’s and by extension their own problems. The secretary and the love interest of Mr. Bond help in every way they can. And then where you have burglary and gunmen, there are cops as well. And from Scotland Yard, no less!

You will have a roller coaster sort of a ride when you get through this book. And unlike the usual Wodehouse books where though the ending is happy, there is an eventual loser, it doesn’t happen so in this book, as the ending is happy for everyone. Well, almost. That said, the ending is a bit too forced in this book, and it does take away some of the shine off the book when you flip over the last page, though the story in itself is quite hilarious and will have you laughing from pretty much the starting. And I am all ok with that. As long as I get my two cupfuls of laughter, I can live with the contrived ending.

And yeah, don’t you try to imitate the bank burgling business at home. It isn’t quite as simple as Wodehouse house writes it to be. And be wary of your domestic help. If butlers can rob banks, your maid will definitely not have any qualms about flinching some money from your wallet.